Ég reyni að vera málefnalegur í eitt-tvö blogg og því svarið með því að kvitta ekki með einni einustu athugasemd? Hvar eru Elvar og Binni pólitíkusar þegar á þarf að halda?
Ég sé að ég verð þá bara að halda áfram að koma með ómálefnalegri hluti hérna. Ætla því að skella inn afriti af samtölum innan kallkerfa flugumferðastjóra og flugvéla sem ég rakst á gegnum digg.com
Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!”
Delta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!”
Allegedly, while taxiing at London’s Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: “US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it’s difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!” Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: “God! Now you’ve screwed everything up! It’ll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don’t move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?” US Air 2771: “Yes, ma’am,” the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: “Wasn’t I married to you once?”
Control tower to a 747: “United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, Eastbound.”
United 239: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this…. I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.”
Svo koma hérna nokkur dæmi um hvernig flugvirkjar hafa fyllt út skýrslur eftir að hafa fengið niður punkta frá flugmönnum og öðrum um ástand véla.
V = Athugasemd um vandamál.
S = Svar flugvirkja.
V: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
V: Left-inside main tyre (tire) almost needs replacing.
S: Almost replaced left-inside main tyre.
V: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
V: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
V: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft told to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
V: Noise coming from under instrument panel – sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
V: Three roaches in cabin.
S: One roach killed, one wounded, one got away.
V: DME volume set unbelievably loud. [DME = Distance Measuring Equipment?]
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
